The summer has arrived

23 May

I am very upbeat today, the sun is out and I am happy , in Afrikaans they would say” die Afrikaners is plesierig”

I am still in a downcast frame of mind. A lot has happened to me in the last month.I am having a real understanding of what ambivalence feels like. I  have on one hand a feeling that I have conquered Mount Everest of my own world, on the other hand I feel that I am not achieving what I have set out to do. 

I can honestly say that it is not a very comfortable place to be in. I am using all the skills and techniques to try and keep perspective, but the next time I lose it. I am like a relapsing alcoholic who cannot grasp the steps programme that is used in alcoholics anonymous.

Enough of this morbid ideas just now i set of a whole spiral of morbidness around all of us.I have promised to stay positive and will share with you what is happening on the positive side of my life and Ubuntu Handmade bread.

But for a lack of a baking facility, I am getting on rather well. I have done some amazing things during the last time I wrote. I am performing more stand up comedy , oh yes I have even been to the Glee club and did a set there. I have been asked to do a gig with a person who I hold in high esteem. I helped a friend raise money for his little theatre  project in Ballsall Heath by contributing my comedy talent.

I entered a comedy competition , so you think you funny, my regional heath is on 17th June in Sutton Coldfiled.I have been reading , oh yes reading again and doing some serious work on my comedy.

Comedy is not all that was great these last weeks. 

I have been baking bread to come nice. At times I feel like I am sowing all this seed and very little is coming back.I sold some bread at a great event, an allotment in Erdington, yes, an allotment, I also thought an allotment, strange people can be found there.I introduced the local people to vetkoek and minced curry. All I can say is that is caused a small revolution and I think I can be serious competition for Pork Baps and Bacon Rolls. 

I also judges a cake bake off competition, and the winner was guess what a bloke. three cheers for all the men who are coming out of their closets and baking to delight others.

I attended a enterprise club at Twickenham Road Primary School in Kingstanding.Working with the kids and their mentors are an experience not to be missed. I learned that we have a serious need for re 0educating children because one kid, bless his cotton socks, identified sesame seeds on my white loaves of bread as Macdonald seeds. WQe had a good laugh about it and the most amazing bot about it is that him and the group are so entusiastic about their club and work very hard to make it a sucess.

I met a very wonderful person, Kate who I am sure will meet again and whose work I admire.

Of course there is Albert Smith himself who is  qiuetly supporting me and nagging me but whatever vit appears to be  I am grateful that he is my friend.

I cannot but mention the support I get from Alex and all my other friends.

I am still looking for a home to use as my bakery. I am facing financial hardship like never before and I think there is no end in sight, but it is not at the stage that all the lights I see are trains. I am happy about that. I am not sure when I will be able to earn a decent wage from my enterprise but,I live in hope. 

Today all I can say is that I have a sense of gratitude that I am self actualising and achieving some goals. whenever I am down and feel despair, I look at the people around me and  think, “there goes I but for the grace of God” and the gifts I have been given and for my life and my journey.

I am still here, still planning and still hoping. 

th nak you for reading this and taking time to share time with me. 

till next time Goodbye




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